Letter board sign that reads, “90% of marriage is just shouting ‘what’ from different rooms.”
via Canva

Marriage is brimming over with its series of quirks, compromises and minor moments that inspire laughter or outbursts. Just to imagine capturing all of that is a sign. Signs like, look out, there’s a “spouse ahead.” From the battles over the thermostat right on into the mysteriously vanishing snacks, the married life if overloaded with tiny moments that then somehow feel universal. These signs then put those everyday realities into words and provide glimpses into a wonderfully weird world of marriage.

1. The numbers can tell many different stories

A printed chart titled "Statistics Don't Lie" lists average phone call durations by relationship, showing much longer calls for "wife to married daughter" and "girl to girl" compared to very short calls for other pairs.
userdeleted/via reddit.com

2. Those wanderings through Target’s many aisles can take their time

A man stands in a Target parking lot holding a cardboard sign that says, "NOT HOMELESS, WIFE IN TARGET 2+ HOURS, PLEASE HELP!" Cars and the Target store are visible in the background.
broombrowser/via reddit.com

3. Thank you for the clarification

A red Toyota SUV on the road carries large black trash bags on its roof and rear, with a sign on the back reading "NOT MY WIFE." Trees and a fence are visible in the background.
pumuckl4life/via reddit.com

4. He’s making his son hold the sign because he’s scared

A smiling young boy at an airport holds a large cardboard sign reading, "WELCOME HOME FROM PRISON MOM." Text above says, "My wife hates being embarrassed so we surprised her at the airport.
followmewell69/via reddit.com

5. “My wife said she’d put some pasta on a plate for me after work.”

A white plate sits on a stovetop with a folded paper labeled "Some Pasta" and doodles of pasta shapes, instead of actual food, placed in the center of the plate.
toki_warhol/via reddit.com

6. What a great business model

A sign titled "Hiding From Wife" lists bar phone rates, charging $1 to $5 for excuses like "Nope not here", "Just missed him", and "Never heard of him". A note says to see bartender upon arrival.
basic_basket_1147/via reddit.com

7. This store is covering its back

A sign in a store reads: "NOTICE: Husbands choosing paint colours must have a signed note from their wife." The sign is taped to a shelf with paint-related items in the background.
thelasttsunami/via reddit.com

8. These guys must rake in millions

A red and yellow sign reads, "HUSBAND DAY CARE CENTER. Need time to relax? Need time to yourself? Want to go shopping? Leave your husband with us! We look after him for you! You only pay for his drinks!
mandated/via reddit.com

9. “We’ll keep it between us.”

A sign reads: "For an additional $4.99, we will provide you with a receipt that matches what you told your wife you paid for this turntable." Audio equipment is displayed behind the sign.
seahawks1991/via reddit.com

10. Hey, at least he gave it a shot

A white van with "WE REPAIR WHAT YOUR HUSBAND FIXED" in bold red letters on the side, and an "Appliance Repair Team" logo with contact information printed near the door.
lmanwell23/via reddit.com

11. “You haven’t heard a word I said” is a weird way to start a conversation

A sign reads, "MY WIFE SAID I NEVER LISTEN TO HER OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT" in bold black letters on a white background. There are faint shadows of tree branches on the sign.
endersgame_reviewer/via reddit.com

12. Serious inquiries only

A large white banner with black letters hangs from a balcony railing, reading, "MY HUSBAND IS FOR SALE.
redditrocks2021/via reddit.com

13. This is how marriage works

A restaurant sign reads: "90% of marriage is just shouting 'WHAT' from different rooms." The sign is labeled "El Arroyo" with a red Texas shape and "Austin" written inside.
endersgame_reviewer/via reddit.com

14. “When my wife asks me to do the dishes.”

A wooden sign with the text "ALEXA, DO THE DISHES" displayed on a glass shelf with wicker baskets and other items in the background.
helpinghandsus/via reddit.com

15. They have a solid point

A chalkboard sign on a sidewalk reads: "Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
bubble_babe_0o0o0o/via reddit.com

Meet the Writer

Matt has spent over the last 8 years as both a writer and editor, working in Seattle and Brooklyn, where he is now based. He loves escaping the tirelessly fast pace of the “Mad Apple” that is NYC by taking walks and runs through parks where he’s able to catch up on the latest tea about society from the city’s ever chatty, always hungry, occasionally maniacal, pigeons. They always have a lot to say. When he’s not taking his urban nature strolls, or dutifully combing the deepest rabbit holes of the internet to find the content that’s worth sinking your mind’s teeth into, he’s likely holed up at a dark-lit dive bar with a new book and/or some friends, or just as easily he could be on the hunt for the next addition to his steadily growing plant family.

These days Matt’s caught up in trying to provide folks as many vivid glimpses into the days long since passed as he can, through fun and engaging collections of hand-picked vintage photos.