Bust out the ole shoulder pads and then crank up the boombox. That’s because we’re diving headlong into the ridiculously petty battlegrounds that converted every 1980s household into a front-line battlefield.
From competing over ultimate control of the lonesome TV remote, to snatching up the last Capri Sun, the all-out wars that’d break out between siblings were as legendary as any Saturday-morning cartoon plot twist. These 18 nostalgia-soaked flashbacks will have you laughing or grimacing as you remember exactly how far you could push yourself to go for Player 1 on the NES.
1. Player 1 on the NES
Pressing “start” as Mario felt like winning the Super Bowl before the game started. Especially if your poor sibling was stuck playing like Luigi.
2. The last Capri Sun in the fridge
Pacific Cooler was just built differently. Plain and simple. Siblings would go about stealth-zipping it in the corner so that the empty foil packaging looked full as well. The eventual discovery of the shriveled-up Capri Sun pouch would also usually amount to a high-stakes kitchen tribunal.
3. The main TV remote
Possessing control over that plastic wand meant absolute control over the family’s cultural diet. Whoever also tucked the remote into the couch cushions pretty much became ruler of the lands until a parent got involved. If the siblings were so lucky.
4. Boombox radio dominance
New Kids diehards and also hair-metal devotees really couldn’t coexist in peace. The DJ’s ultimate dedication line became total battlefield artillery. Whoever’s request would hit the airwaves also won full bragging rights. Batteries would also mysteriously vanish each time a truce fell through.
5. A blank VHS tape
Those six precious hours of SP recording time were absolute gold. To possess the ever-sought-after blank VHS tape was a shining moment for anyone to happen upon.
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6. Front-seat “shotgun” status
The call would echo its way down the driveway before Mom had even jingled her keys. To lose meant to slump into a crumb-ridden back seat with no control of the window crank. Epic squabbles would also require parents to introduce the ever-dreaded “odd-even birthday” seating schedule.
7. Collectible cereal boxes
When the collectible cereal boxes were really in play, intense negotiations would break out all the time. Treaties had to be formed, and by then, so often the cereal would end up being mostly crushed dust anyway.
8. Having the coolest sticker setup in “Trapper Keeper”
The scratch-and-sniff pizza slices outperformed every boring hologram dolphin. To swap or peel someone’s cherished prized sticker was also immediate grounds for ultimate cafeteria exile.
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9. 15-minute-blocks on the corded family phone
Every second of a dial-up flirtation situation could feel like walking a tightrope over shark-infested waters. Whenever that dang timer buzzed, your nearest sibling would likely yank the receiver right in the middle of a tender soliloquy that you’d lose yourself in delivering.
10. The best wall poster
Right above the potential bunk bed was some prime real estate that could only fit one poster. The poster custody turnovers were then negotiated with the gravity of Cold War summits.
11. Being closest to the fan on hot summer nights
No AC, then really no mercy. Those three spinning blades served as their salvation. Sibling alliances would be formed and then crumble around makeshift cardboard “air-redirectors” that were taped to the slats.
12. Quarter stashes for the ole mall arcade
Pac-Man and also Street Fighter II devoured coins quicker than allowances were ever able to refill. Kids would stow away rolls of quarters in tube socks that quickly became invaluable. The ultimate roast was also burning through someone else’s stash during an alleged practice session.
13. Ownership of the neon fanny pack
Hands-free swagger took on its own importance on theme-park days. The loser would be stuck with juggling treats like churros and also disposable cameras. To have possession of the neon fanny pack instead of your siblings really did bestow you with that ultimate edge.
14. Control of the boombox “record” button
Catching your song off Casey Kasem’s countdown did require its own set of ninja-like reflexes. Sibling sabotage also meant cutting off the intro with a faked cough or slamming the bedroom door. The resulting mixtape would then reveal all that had transpired during the skirmish.
15. Wearing the lone Hypercolor t-shirt
Nothing screamed out status like a tee that would change colors based on body heat. Then, accusations of breathing on or sun-blasting the fabric escalated to forensic-level inspections.
16. Getting the last slice of the Totino’s party pizza
Those dang Totino’s party pizzas could inspire full-contact kitchen combat. The true champion was ultimately whoever was able to avoid mouth burns while they sprinted away from the scene.
17. View-Master turn time
Three-D Masters of the Universe reels were able to hypnotize kids like virtual reality avant la lettre. The sibling who hogged the viewer always promised just one more click, and then proceeded to burn right through the entire disc.
18. Lisa Frank rainbow stationery custody
Glitter dolphins, as well as technicolor tigers, were very serious social currency for that cherished classroom note-passing. Stealing a single sticker-sealed envelope was equivalent to literal treason. Peace was then restored only after splitting the page page-by-page, much like a high-stakes paper treaty.
Explore more nostalgic content:
Feeling that sibling rivalry spark again? Keep the ’80s memory lane rolling with our hilarious roundup of 17 Things ’80s Parents Let Kids Do That Wouldn’t Fly Today. For an eyeful of big hair and bright neon beyond the living-room battlefield, scroll through 35 Vintage Photos of the Late ’80s, and relive the decade’s boldest looks.
