There are certain folks who are seemingly not cut out for or refuse to be cut out for the working world. Seriously. Some people enter a professional environment with an impossibly low level of self-awareness and then proceed to make complete messes out of otherwise golden opportunities to either begin or build upon their careers.
Right out of the gate, our first tale of a coworker named “Paul” is one for the books. We’re not sure what was going through “Paul’s” mind when he sent that email out but talk about an impressive fail, for sure.
1. When you make the “power move” but can’t back it up.
And now let us dive right on into the tale centered on “Paul.” Redditor u/Left_Apparently writes, “In my old law office, a firm-wide email was sent out announcing the arrival of a new employee. We will call him Paul. So Paul decided to reply all to let all of us know that he was aware of our recent legal defeats, that many people should be fired for these failures, and that his hiring was the first good thing our firm had done in years.
The dude was a legal assistant right out of college with no experience. A minute after the email went out, I heard a crazy shout and then watched one of the senior partners run past my office towards HR. And 5 minutes later Paul walked past with the HR manager and a security escort. He lasted less than 45 minutes.”
2. They simply can’t or won’t stay awake on their first day.
Yes, it would seem that the sheer excitement of being able to hopefully productively muddle through one’s first day on the job actually isn’t enough excitement at all for some people. No, some people truly can’t stay awake. Maybe it’s due to not being able to sleep the night before? Or maybe it’s just not being able to be bothered to care enough in the first place.
3. When they insist on being a full-time cinematographer.
Yes, unfortunately, many of us have encountered those theatrical walks of life that can’t help but try to film pretty much whatever you can think of. Redditor u/kenb99 writes, “The boss sat her down to talk about her recent behavior at work. She whipped out her phone and started taking a video, saying that it was her right to record for ‘when it goes to court.’ The boss said, “Okay, this is the kind of stuff I’m talking about, you’re fired.”
The real kicker here is that apparently, this all went down at Domino’s Pizza. A tough first day and only day on that particular job, to be sure.
4. When you use your first day to promote your band.
Wow, you can’t make this stuff up. Redditor u/BDATriangle001 writes, “A guy got hired in the first firm I ever worked for, turns up for the first morning at work, and within an hour has emailed the entire company (6,000 people) about his band and their availability for birthdays, weddings, etc. He was dismissed by lunchtime.”
To be frank, it’s most impressive that the dude made it all the way to lunchtime before his ultimate righteous dismissal.
5. When you take more than your fill.
Some folks have more self-restraint than others. Such seems to be the way of life. Redditor u/TheRealReapz writes, “I was working at a place that made food items. You could have as many of these as you liked while at work, but you can only take one home with you.
A guy gets hired and takes advantage of this and consumes a bucketload of these items at work, which is fine; that’s the deal. He then goes to leave for the day, and security asks to check his bag. He hesitates and asks security if they could just check it tomorrow instead.
They say no, and he says, “I do have some items in there, I haven’t left the site yet, can I put them in your fridge?” Security relents and lets him do this. Security then checks the fridge, and there are 18 items in there that weren’t before. The guy is immediately terminated. Lost his job over $8 worth of products.”
