Last Updated on April 18, 2025 by Matt Staff
It’s easy to assume that the laws governing our lives are all based on logic, reason, and current realities. But tucked away in legal codes (some dating back centuries) are rules that feel more like punchlines than legislation. We’re talking about the kind of laws that make you do a double-take: like bans on whistling underwater, or ordinances against keeping ice cream in your back pocket.
While most of these laws are no longer enforced, they’ve never officially been removed from the books. They sit there quietly collecting dust, waiting for someone to stumble across them and wonder what was going on back then. Whether they were passed randomly or born from a very specific (and probably hilarious) incident, these forgotten relics offer a weirdly fascinating peek into the past, and a few good laughs, too. Here are 20 absurd laws that are still technically in effect.
1. No ads in cemeteries in Maine
I’d like to meet the person who made this law necessary. Imagine grave stones with a bunch of advertisements on them. In my opinion, this should be a law in every state.
2. No high heels without a permit in Carmel-by-the-Sea, California
If your heels are taller than 2 inches and the base is less than one square inch, you technically need a permit to strut the streets of this coastal town.
3. No ice cream cones in your back pocket in Kentucky
Back in the day, this was how horse thieves lured away horses without technically “stealing” them. Kentucky made it illegal, and it still is to this day.
4. No spitting on sidewalks in San Francisco
It is considered a public nuisance to spit or expectorate any secretion in any open public space.
5. No swearing at sports events in Massachusetts
Though outdated and not really enforced, this law in Massachusetts is still in place to try and keep things civil.
6. No fortune-telling without a license in Oregon
In Oregon, individuals must obtain a license to practice fortune-telling, astrology, or other occult arts. This regulation ensures practitioners meet certain standards and protects consumers.
7. No wearing bulletproof vests during crimes in New Jersey
Ever heard of a hat on a hat? If you’re a normal citizen, bulletproof vests are fine, but if you’re committing a crime, wearing a bulletproof vest is another crime.
8. No dueling allowed in Kentucky
Dueling used to be a way to settle disputes, especially among politicians, but it is now seen as dangerous and outdated.
9. It’s illegal to sell bodily organs in Texas
In Texas, it’s illegal to sell any of your bodily organs, including your eyes. I’m not sure who would sell their eyes, but in Texas, they made sure no one would.
10. No moose alcohol consumption in Fairbanks, Alaska
It’s illegal to serve alcohol to moose in Fairbanks, Alaska. While this may seem absurd, it reflects the state’s unique wildlife regulations.
11. No wiping your car with used underwear in San Francisco
Yep, it’s on the books. Using old undergarments to wipe down your car is a no-go in San Fran.
12. No driving blindfolded in Alabama
I’m pretty sure this should be a law everywhere, but this one is specifically written down in Alabama.
13. It’s technically illegal to wear a fake mustache to church in Alabama
If your fake stache disrupts church in Alabama, it’s against the law. This law was put in place to maintain respect during religious services.
14. It’s illegal to keep a couch on your porch in some parts of Colorado
There’s a law in Colorado that keeps couches and porches separated.
15. Whispering in church is illegal in Delaware
This law prohibits any disruption in church, including talking and whispering. This also includes areas as far as 200 feet away from the church! You better not be talking while you walk past morning mass.
16. Coins can’t be placed in people’s ears in Hawaii
This is a magician’s nightmare. This law was put in place to discourage any form of tampering with currency.
17. Catching a fish with your bare hands is illegal in many states
Catching a fish with your bare hands (or noodling) is illegal in California and Missouri. The reason for this is to protect fish, specifically catfish populations.
18. It’s illegal to hit a vending machine in Kansas
This law aims to protect people’s property, but if that vending machine is a thief, it deserves a little whack!
19. No whistling underwater in Vermont
Yes, it’s a law. While it’s physically impossible, Vermont saw fit to make underwater whistling officially illegal. Maybe they just really like peace and quiet, even below the surface.
20. It’s illegal to have a sheep in the back of your truck without a chaperone in Montana
We couldn’t agree more with this law. These little guys deserve to have a friend with them while they ride.
