32 Groan-Worthy Dad Jokes To Celebrate the Old Man

All Lifestyle Parenting June 16, 2024

A good dad joke should be harmless, silly, and infuriating. We love to think of them as jokes that are as embarrassing to tell as they are to hear. The kind of thing you apologize for as soon as your dad has left the room. They’re funny, they’re stupid, and they’re absolutely dad. So, in honor of fathers everywhere, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite dad jokes.

1. How do you like your eggs?

A comic-style avatar accompanies the username "roman12325." Below, text reads: "Dad at breakfast: I'll have bacon and eggs, please" followed by "Waiter: How do you like your eggs?" and then "Dad: I don't know, I haven't gotten them yet!

2. That corner looks warm

An online post by a user named "pwningprincess" features a joke: "Dad: 'Are you feeling cold? Sit in the corner, it is 90 degrees.'

3. I felt this one

Text post by "IWillCube" with a profile picture of a green character. The post reads: "What’s green, furry, has 4 legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree onto you? A pool table.

4. Dads and their recliners

A social media post from user 'akaShadezz11' has a profile image of an illustrated character in red and black. The post reads, "I love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back.

5. Cheesy pizza joke

A social media post by user "UnionMysterious8381" with a party hat icon. The text reads: "My favorite is 'you guys wanna hear a joke about pizza?' Nevermind..... it's too cheesy.

6. Just shaking my head

A social media post with a cartoon robot avatar named "DopeCharma" that says, "How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds.

7. This is a classic

A humorous text conversation where a child asks their dad to put their clothes on. The dad misunderstands and starts wearing the child's clothes, which the child corrects by asking to dress them instead. The dad then comically places the clothes on the child's head.

8. I’m going to croak

Text post with the username "[deleted]". The post reads: "What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.

9. You can feel this person’s dad’s satisfaction telling this horrible joke

A social media post by user "moonpie57" features a joke: "What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.

10. Going to have to use this one

A social media post by user sprinkles67 features a joke: "Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!" The message is accompanied by a cartoon avatar of a person with a pink hat.

11. Hilariously bad joke

Text on image: "aworldwithoutshrimp. A magician was walking down the street. Then, he turned into a grocery store." The design includes a green cartoon shrimp on a white background.

12. Anyone can see how bad this joke is

An illustration of a purple cat with glasses, above a text post from "Moogs9" that reads: "Why shouldn't you wear glasses when you play football? Because it's a contact sport.

13. Ah, the old chicken strips joke

An image from a social media post by Sjkxism featuring a humorous dialogue. 'Dad at lunch' asks for something cheap. The waiter suggests chicken strips for $6, to which dad replies that it doesn't help his hunger. Another 'dad in the background' responds, "good one.

14. Genuinely wish I could have seen the reaction to this

A humorous social media post by "Achiles_Heals" asking, "If a child doesn't want to take a nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?" It mentions that this question was asked by someone at a volunteer event to a sheriff.

15. Deep, genuine groan at this one

A text post from a user named Sonny_Boy_Slim reads, "6:30 is my favorite time of day, hands down." There is a profile picture of a person in a hoodie on the left side of the post.

16. This one is legitimately good

A social media post by "ispilledmymilka" reads: "I hate thoose people who knock on your door and say you need to get 'saved' or else you will 'burn.' Stupid firemen." There is a profile picture showing a close-up of a person biting into what appears to be a piece of broccoli.

17. Flock of cows

A screenshot of a humorous text exchange. Dad: Look at that flock of cows over there. Kids: A HERD of cows. Dad: Of course I heard of cows, there is a flock of them right over there. The Twitter username at the top is "ManOfLaBook.

18. Who?

A humorous text exchange. User named Prestigious_Pringle writes: "Dad: Someone among us is an owl. Me: Who? Dad: *Narrows eyes suspiciously*.

19. Every son heading to college or a trip has heard this one

A white background with a vertically oriented text meme. It shows the name "Freeieheit" followed by the joke question: "What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college?" and the punchline: "Bison". An illustration of a buffalo head is situated next to the name.

20. Someone must stop dads

A text post by user Captain-Yesh. The first line reads, "Would you like the milk in the bag?" The second part, labeled "Dad," responds with, "No thanks, you can keep it in the carton.

21. “This takes me back”

A social media post by Hkatsupreme shows a humorous text exchange: "Dad putting car in reverse" followed by "Dad: Ahh, this takes me back", with a cartoon character in the profile picture.

22. So smart, so stupid

A social media post by a user named damdingashrubbery with a profile picture of a cartoon robot head. The post reads, "I havent been to the gym in so long Ive gone back to calling it James.

23. “How’d you get your feet in them?”

A social media post from Xophlia containing a humorous text exchange. It reads: "Do your socks have holes in them? No. Then how'd you get your feet in them?

24. “Stairs are always up to something”

A social media post by "guyinAmerica1" displays a profile picture of a cartoon bear wearing a beanie hat. The post reads: "do you know why I never trust stairs? Because they are always up to something.

25. “Is that felt?”

Text post from user "Cheese_Pancakes" with a profile picture of a person. The post reads: Dad: "Nice shirt, is that felt?" Not Dad: "No." Dad: *Reaches over and touches sleeve* "It is now!

26. A little shady

A screenshot of a tweet by Fleurdelis502. The tweet reads: "At the park with my girls: 'Dad, can we go play?' Me: 'sure, just stay away from those trees over there' Girls: 'umm...ok, why?' Me: 'I don't know...they look a little shady to me.'

27. Supplies

An illustration of a cartoon mouse next to the username "delete_undo_redo" and the text: "What did the custodian say when they jumped out of the closet? Supplies!

28. Built upside down

A social media post from user "Thegreatscott9" with a cartoon profile picture. The post reads: "Were you built upside down? Because your nose runs and your feet smell.

29. Outstanding

A social media post by user "Dota2IsBae" features a profile picture of a blue, bear-like character in armor. The post reads, "Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

30. Get it? You planet

An illustration of a yellow bear figure, next to the username "RemoveYourBeard". Below, text reads: "How do you organise a party in space? You planet.

31. Norwegian

A text post from a user named Urabutbl with a profile picture of a purple character. The text reads: "The waiter, as we're just done eating: 'Are you finished?' My dad, at Every. Single. Restaurant. Ever: 'No, Norwegian.'

32. I don’t know why I put myself through making this

A social media post from user @the_pancake_drawer says, "I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y." The user's profile picture is an illustrated character with glasses.
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