20 Clever Comebacks That Dented People’s Fragile Egos

A proper clever comeback can leave whoever is on the receiving end of it temporarily (if not indefinitely) frozen in front of their computer. When you combine the right amount of pure and unapologetic spiciness with clever wit, you get the perfect clever comeback. Everyone appreciates the proper dosage of wit every now and again, and there’s no getting around the fact that these people more than delivered.

1. “Anyone using software that could help out with this though.”

Screenshot of a Twitter post. The original tweet by Shafeeq (@Y2SHAF) says "2 unskippable ads". The retweeted post from YouTube (@YouTube) states, "you just made food. you're at the table. laptop open. what are you watching first?".
u/thhoney08/via reddit.com

“And two more in the midst of the video for good measure.” – u/Hot_War_9683

“It’s all about pressing the back button and then the forward button.” – u/kirbash

2. “That’s a billion dollar burn.”

A tweet from Matt Wallace stating, "Elon Musk is going to put Apple out of Business!" Below it, another user, slate, responds with, "did he buy it" and an emoji of a rock with a face.
u/farworse/via reddit.com

“Nice.” – u/StamosMullet

“Apple has a market cap of almost 3 trillion dollars. They should be fine.” – u/daddy-devito19

3. “Not to mention charging you for telling you that you didn’t have any money.”

Image of two Twitter posts. The first tweet from Chase humorously depicts a conversation between a user and their bank account about spending habits. The second tweet from Public Citizen criticizes the bank for advising financial prudence while paying CEOs millions and receiving bailouts.
u/presentparty4402/via reddit.com

“But Mr. Bank to eat the food in the fridge I need to actually the food in the fridge first.” – u/Present-Pary4402

“Chase makes billions from overdraft and service fees.” – u/Bitter_Ad_8688

4. “How else would one go about eating one of them though.”

A meme featuring a deer in a forest with the caption "How can u eat these precious creatures?????". Below, a social media comment by "Ted Altizer" says, "Is this rhetorical or are you looking for recipes??", with a timestamp and profile picture.
u/original_don_dada/via reddit.com

“They great in a stew.” – u/bxsanman

“They are delicious. That’s how.” – u/LegendofDarius

5. “We’re not the same after all.”

A screenshot of a Reddit conversation with three comments. The first comment asks, "Does your door don't have locks?" The second comment mocks the grammatical error, "Does your english haveth good?" The third points out identical responses, implying poor English skills are the same.
u/jacket313/via reddit.com

“Dang, that was a good one.” – u/Infinite-Condition41

“The dude is actually well done after that.” – u/ShanDroid

6. “Never bring a book to the bar.”

A tweet by Jeremy Schneider (@J_Schneider) reads, "Please know, if you're someone who brings a book to the bar... nobody likes you." It has 20 retweets, 2,787 quote tweets, and 332 likes. A response by RemandedHat (@Popehat) reads, "How much of your life, expressed as a percentage, have you spent gesturing for women to take out their earbuds?
u/apricotfar1041/via reddit.com

“Seriously though, what is this world coming to.” – u/MasterGrok

“I used public transportation for years. I just used headphones and a book hoping to be left alone.” – u/Jaded_Pearl1996

7. “One of my all-time favorites.”

A humorous Twitter exchange between Blockbuster and Loose_bets. Blockbuster tweets a reminder about its past movie rental policy and mentions Netflix. Loose_bets comments on Blockbuster missing a chance to buy Netflix. Blockbuster’s reply is about being an intern.
u/dr00ne/via reddit.com

“So probably, was an intern then.” – u/GoArray

“He surely passed on something better.” – u/vic25qc

8. “To really show him, he should buy 100 copies.”

A tweet from Owen Jones sarcastically suggests people buy 10 copies of his book and burn them. A reply from Len Cogdon states that they plan to buy his book and burn it.
u/blaze_uchiha99/via reddit.com

“No please stop. Don’t give me your money.” – u/AccomplishedAd7615

9. “Different level of petty.”

A tweet by user @allaitermoi on May 2, 2021, reads: "He dumped me so I'm dating his landlord. We increasing the rent tomorrow." It has 8,025 retweets, 1,507 quote tweets, and 84.4K likes. A reply by @billydak1d says: "He live in ya mind rent free though.
u/vexfreeze/via reddit.com

“Oh, this is good.” – u/moniqueandmally

“This is literally the best way to get back at someone.” – u/chipotelll10

10. “Nice work, chef.”

A screenshot of social media comments. The first comment critiques steak-cooking techniques, mentioning too much butter, wrong pan, undercooking, poor topping choice, and the mistake of smacking a steak. The second reply sarcastically says, "Ok Gordon Ramsay," with many likes.
u/fruuz_d_hawk/via reddit.com

“Gordon Ramsay parodying Gordon Ramsay. The internet’s a beautiful place indeed.” – u/GiannaSushi

“This is by far his funniest insult in my opinion. Insulting someone with your own name is just hilarious.” – u/Greedyfox7

11. “Yup, a competitive salary indeed.”

A tweet from Tre Santino asks, "What does 'competitive salary' even mean?" Kamikaze K responds, "The salary will be competing against bills.
u/lovelybehappy/via reddit.com

“And the bills usually win.” – u/Prajnashu_24

“It means that they’re scared to show you a real number because you may walk out.” – u/JBKablooie

12. “A marshmallow sandwich, dude.”

A tweet reply exchange where a user criticizes MoonPie for wasting time managing a social media account. MoonPie responds humorously, pointing out that it's a Saturday night and the user is talking to a marshmallow sandwich on the internet.
u/visible-pop-276/via reddit.com

“Now that’s funny.” – u/LukeNAround23

“Ah, that rare animal. A clever comeback. We should treasure it.” – u/SayYesToPenguins

13. “I don’t have a garage.”

A tweet by @LifeOfJay98 contains images of garages labeled as the starting points for Apple, Disney, Amazon, and Google, with a caption that reads, "These huge companies all started from a garage... what's YOUR excuse?" Below it, @el_branbran replies, "I don't have a garage.

14. “They’re still being used.”

A tweet from Theo Priestley with a photo of a red plastic bread clip, captioned "I bet nobody under 40 knows what this is." Below, a response tweet from Michael McKean reads, "Right, because all bread is digital now.
u/-hal-jordan/via reddit.com

“You wouldn’t download a loaf.” – u/RevengefulRaiden

“That’s an emergency guitar pick.” – u/Bobburgert

15. “A very intelligent person.”

A Reddit post title reads, "People of Reddit: what category do you think you're in the top 1% of?" The top comment says, "My IQ is 136, which is in the top 5% of the world." Below, another comment reads, "IQ of 136 apparently not enough to understand and answer OP's question.
u/kiriti000/via reddit.com

“People who claim to have a high IQ like this almost never do.” – u/cwesttheperson

“Top 1% bragger about being in the top 5%.” – u/Laura_Gustafson

16. “Another reason to love The Beatles.”

A black-and-white image of two young men with mop-top haircuts. The top panel shows one standing and one sitting, with the caption, "They think your haircuts are un-American." The bottom panel shows the seated man replying, "Well, it was very observant of them because we aren't American, actually.
u/eastlog/via reddit.com

“They are and were so good at dissing.” – u/deleted

“They always found the most polite way to tell people to leave them alone.” – u/Citizen0001

17. “Three whole puns in one go.”

A Reddit post by u/FinalCaveat says, "I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals." The top comment reads, "It's pointless." Another comment by SkettiSammich says, "Well, look. You gotta draw the line somewhere, or else people will think you're being irrational. But that is beside the point.
u/carrotwhirl/via reddit.com

“Those puns aren’t half bad though.” – u/OpelousasTimes

“The point is that it could be imaginary.” – u/imameanone

18. “Bro was kind enough to forgive the mistake.”

A tweet shows a conversation about a salary discrepancy. The person narrates that their salary was 25K, received 27K one month without complaining, then 23K the next and complained to HR. HR questioned this and the person replied, "I normally forgive the first mistake but can’t tolerate the second.
u/ayaan20010/via reddit.com

“I’ve never heard of salary being said as if it was monthly. I always heard it talked about yearly.” – u/didiekaqlia

19. “Ah so that’s how people millionaire.”

A screenshot of a social media post. The original post says, "Idk who needs to hear this, but I switched from buying coffee every day to making it at home 2 years ago and I'm still not a millionaire." A pinned reply suggests sarcastically, "have you considered supplementing your income by committing massive fraud?
u/head-gap8455/via reddit.com

“One could always consider more inherited wealth too.” – u/MagnusJ

20. “That’s what you get for trying to ruin it.”

A tweet from Neil deGrasse Tyson reads, "If rhymes were accurate: 'Roses are red, violets are...violet.'" A reply from Jed Oliver states, "Roses are red, violets are violet, Neil deGrasse Tyson should sometimes stay quiet." The reply has 13 retweets and 370 likes.
u/cyrobite-/via reddit.com

“I like Neil deGrasse Tyson but he’s gotten very far out these days.” – u/TheLast981

“Well yes, but actually, wild roses are most often pink.” – u/Stefan_B_88

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