Growing up in the eighties meant living in a world where parents held all the answers, or at least pretended they did. Before we could fact-check everything with a tap on a screen, most of us simply accepted whatever truth the adults handed down, even when it sounded a little off. Looking back now, some of those explanations feel less like guidance and more like pure improvisation delivered with absolute confidence.
From scare tactics meant to keep us quiet to strange little myths parents seemed to borrow from thin air, the decade was dull of tall tales that somehow stayed with us long after childhood. Whether they made you laugh, cringe, or cry, these stories became a part of this era’s charm. Let’s dive into 20 of the worst lies parents told their kids in the eighties.
1. If you swallow gum, it’ll stay in your stomach for seven years
It was a simple scare tactic to stop kids from swallowing gum instead of throwing it away.
2. Eating carrots helps you see in the dark
While carrots do support eye health, this was more a way to get kids to eat more veggies than the actual truth.
3. The ice cream truck plays music when it’s out of ice cream
This was a clever way for parents to avoid buying treats every time the jingle rolled through the neighborhood.
4. You can’t swim for thirty minutes after eating
Though there is some minimal risk of cramps from swimming right after eating, the risk was greatly exaggerated in the ’80s.
5. If you lie, your nose will grow like Pinocchio
This storybook was meant to encourage honesty from the first time it was told.
6. If you keep making that face, it’ll get stuck like that
This playful lie was told mostly to get siblings off each other’s backs and helped keep kids from making rude expressions at others.
7. The police will come if you don’t start behaving
Parents always leaned on this one when they were out of patience in public areas.
8. Your pet went to live on a farm
This gentle story was used to cover the unfortunate fate of many pets.
9. Candy before bed gives you nightmares
A sugar rush right before bed is never a good idea for young children, so parents told them it would give them nightmares to avoid late nights.
10. If you touch the thermostat, it will break
This was often said to keep little hands off the temperature controls and keep the electric bill as low as possible.
11. If you drink coffee, it’ll stunt your growth
No one wants to see a 10-year-old jacked up on caffeine, so parents would tell this white lie to keep children away from adult beverages.
12. Opening an umbrella indoors is bad luck for years
Parents used this superstition to keep kids from poking holes in lamps and walls.
13. Too much soda turns your bones soft like jelly
This memorable exaggeration was used to cut down on cola consumption.
14. If you take too long in the shower, it could break the water heater
This was the ultimate trick to shorten bathroom time.
15. If you run the sink for too long, we’ll run out of water for the rest of the day
No one likes an expensive water bill, so this was a way to stop water waste.
Want to see more parenting content?
Check out 18 Vintage Parenting Hacks That Look Downright Dangerous Now, or take a look at 20 Old School Parenting Tactics That Wouldn’t Fly Today. Finally, if you want to see things ’90s parents let their kids do, take a look at 19 Things Parents of the 1980s Let Kids Do That Wouldn’t Fly Today.
